Va Bene!

My last post might have seemed a bit melancholy, but my intention was pointed more towards optimism and the promise of good things to come. Perhaps this quote will communicate my thoughts better... Or maybe is was melancholy? Ah, no matter, va bene!

Quote of the day:
The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are
for what we could become. -Charles Dubois

I can't remember where I first saw this, but I know the words struck me as I read them. That might be one of the hardest things about change- letting go of who you used to be in order to be someone better, happier, healthier. I have been an artist that doesn't make art for a long time, but that's not who I really want to be. I want to be someone who creates everyday, someone whose life is infused with art and color and beauty. But in order to be that person I have to let go of all the habits that prevent me from living that life. I have to write and sketch and draw and paint and photograph every day, not just once in a while. Because I want to make a living as a creative, I have to make studio time a priority and fight for it when daily life interferes. And I have to be willing to share my work with others no matter the response, because if I never show anything to anyone I'll always wonder if I made anything worth looking at. Let's face it, I love my parents and I think they have great taste, but between you and me I think they're a little biased.

*Okay, I was going to post a couple pages from my sketchbook, but I'm having some technical difficulties. I'll have to figure it out in the morning. Sorry kids.

Throw It All Away

At the beginning of each year, I usually find my self - like most other people- reflecting on the year gone by and taking stock of my accomplishments, or lack thereof as it may be. As I have repeated this process at the beginning of 2009, I've come up with a list of things I'm not going to do this year. A list of Anti-Resolutions, if you will.

What tops the list, you ask?

I have resolved that this year I'm not going to hold on to the memory of all the things I haven't done. I'm not going to feel guilty about my lack of accomplishment. I'm not going to lament the dreams that didn't come true or the plans that never saw fruition. I'm not going to regret the opportunities I let slip through my hands or berate myself for not doing more. In short, I'm going to let go of the past. Because no matter how much I beat myself up, it doesn't change a thing. I think I've finally realized that.

In honor of this new Anti-Resolution, I'm posting the lyrics to one of my most favorite songs by one of my most favorite bands, Toad the Wet Sprocket, from their album Coil. I happened upon this song as I was completing my workout yesterday, and I just had to share it.

Throw It All Away

Take your cautionary tales
Take your incremental gain
And all the sychophantic games
And throw 'em all away

Burn your tv in your yard
And gather 'round it with your friends
And warm your hands upon the fire
And start again

Take the story you've been told
The lies that justify the pain
The guilt the weighs upon your soul
And throw 'em all away

Tear up the calendar you've bought
And throw the pieces to the sky
Confetti falling down like rain
Like a parade to usher in your life
Take the dreams that should have died
The ones that kept you lying awake
When you should've been all right
And throw 'em all away

With the time i waste on the life i never had
I could've turned myself into a better man

'cause there ain't nothing you can buy
And there is nothing you can save
To fill the whole inside your heart
So throw it all away
Won't fill the whole inside your heart

Help me empty out this house
The wool i've gathered all these days
And thought i couldn't do without
And throw it all away

Music by glen phillips and toad. lyrics by glen phillips.

The IList

Well, my eyes are very itchy and I am trying to go to bed early tonight, but I promised I would update today... so I will. (D is trying to enforce an early bedtime and is ,as we speak, threatening to confiscate my laptop!) So I'll make this quick.
A short list of things I love right now. We'll call it the "I List". Not only is that a great knock off, but it sounds very of the moment and apple-y, don't you think.
The IList:

• Blogs. I love to read other people's blogs, all the time, everyday.
• My new iphone. It's amazing and I love it. Really, love it.
• Coupons. Just started clipping coupons again. Last week I saved over $40! Can we say new shoes? Well, shoes that are 75% off anyway!
• Podcasts. I am addicted to podcasts. That I can hear on my little ipod at the gym to distract from my burning muscles as I log hour after hour on the elliptical.
• Ipods.
  
• Technology. Right now, I am in love with all the amazing things we can do from anywhere in the world.

I did say I would keep this short, so until tomorrow.